Tuesday, 21 October 2025

To Speak or Not to Speak...

To Speak or Not to Speak...
It is said that communication heals. “Talk it out,” is the universal advice advocated as the first step in resolving any conflict or confusion. Agreed, an open conversation often becomes the sunshine that clears  away the fog of a misunderstanding. Words can clear and do clear the air many times. 
But it is also a known fact that   communication is a double-edged sword. On one hand , it can connect two souls with a single shared thought while on the other, it can cut deep, becoming a weapon that causes deeper wounds than  silence.
At times, we choose not to speak, convincing ourselves that silence is the safest harbour. Such thoughts are not born out of indifference, but out of fear: the fear of being  misunderstood further, the fear of saying too much, or the fear of saying the right thing in the wrong way. It's like standing on a precipice, holding back the explanation, the justification, the truth, simply because we dread falling deep by  reopening an old wound. During such moments, silence does not look like a weakness but like wisdom giving us a chance to let  emotions settle or perspectives to shift.
Yet, this silence has its own dangers. The unspoken truth, the festering emotion or the pain hovers quietly in the space between two people. We indulge in assumptions when we stop talking and they rush in to fill the void. So miscommunication doesn’t just thrive when words are harsh; it  flourishes when they are absent. This is where animosity can easily pile up, making the distance between us grow wider, stone by silent stone.
For someone who has always been  outspoken and straightforward, this dilemma has been more than theoretical in fact it can be a  narrative of my lifetime. I often found myself on the wrong side of conversations, mistaking the virtue of speaking my heart for the vice of speaking out my mind without filter or diplomacy. My sister and my son, both ardent admirers of mine,  became honest critics, helped me see that the line between authenticity and unpopularity is thin. No doubts, I did put my foot in my mouth where others chose tact but today I realise that being too vocal creates more problems than it solves. Perhaps remaining silent would have made things easy. 
The eternal dilemma therefore, is not about choosing one over the other. The challenge lies in  the understanding the delicate balance between saying too much and saying too little, and overcoming it since that is the biggest stumbling block in most relationships. In fact, more than what we say, how we say it matters. Same words portray  drastically different meanings depending on their tone and the non-verbal cues we use unconsciously.  Words spoken with empathy have the power to genuinely heal while words spoken in haste can inflict permanent damage. Silence chosen due to genuine understanding can offer comfort while silence chosen from a place of hurt pride can crush a relationship.
Perhaps the key to unravel this  dilemma could be found in the three T’s of healthy communication: Timing, Tone, and Truth.
• Timing: Knowing when to let  emotions settle before talking  and when to seize the moment for a difficult conversation which maybe necessary.
• Tone: Ensuring your voice is one of respect and seeks clarity, not one of accusation or defense.
• Truth: Speaking from your heart, even if one feels vulnerable.
Our connections are incredibly fragile. They are held together by the delicate thread of words and pauses. One wrong word can inflict a lasting hurt; one missing word can leave an emptiness that lingers for years.
For want of a word, a moment was lost.
For want of a moment, a minute was lost.
For want of a minute, precious hours were lost.
For want of a few hours,  a few days were lost.
For just a few days , a lifetime was lost. 
The true mastery of communication lies in knowing when to speak and when silence is kinder. Because silence born of peace can heal, but silence born of fear can isolate. And in that fine line between speech and quiet, our most precious relationships either live, breathe, or quietly fade away.
R.Vimala,IAS
Resident Commissioner 
Maharashtra, 
Compassionate Civil Servant & 
PhD Scholar at IIT Bombay 

Friday, 17 October 2025

Lighting Lives : Finding the True Spirit of Diwali

Lighting Lives : Finding the True Spirit of Diwali
Diwali has always been very special, the most awaited festival on the calendar. It's a celebration of light which not only glows from hundreds of diyas but radiates in our hearts.
No wonder the ancient prayer, “तमसो मा ज्योतिर्गमय”, Lead me from darkness to light resonates with it  so profoundly. This shloka from the Upanishads captures the soul of Diwali : a festival when light conquers darkness, knowledge triumphs over ignorance, and hearts overflow with warmth, gratitude, and hope.
As a child, Diwali was pure, simple, heartfelt joy. It meant new clothes, neatly folded and waiting before the  family puja room to be worn with joy. It was the scent of homemade bakshanam (sweets and savouries) that filled the house for days. And, of course, the exhilarating ritual of "Baataa Baati" ( बाटा बाटी)—the exciting cracker division with my siblings, where your share was meticulously calculated by age and personal choice.
The most memorable part, however, started before dawn: the sacred Ganga Snanam (oil bath). My father would wake us up in the pre-dawn darkness. Applying the warm, slightly medicinal oil before a head bath symbolised the removal of negativity and a fresh purification.
Half-asleep yet buzzing with excitement, we would reluctantly allow our mother to apply the oil. Those days shikakai powder brought from Chennai was used for washing our hair, its earthly fragrance filling the air. Shikakai has now been replaced by fancy shampoo bottles, yet they cannot erase the memory, nor the feeling of love that binds us together.
I miss my parents a lot especially on Diwali morning. Those were the days of innocence when joy was simple, and togetherness was sufficient.
Today, our lives are scattered across cities and worlds where  reconnecting our hearts through calls, texts, and shared memories seems to be the only hope.
Diwali is celebrated across India with such rich diversity, and it tells so many stories:
• In Tamil NaduNaraka Chaturdashi takes centre stage, marking Lord Krishna’s victory over Narakasura.
  In Maharashtra, the five-day festival begins with Vasu Baaras (honouring the cow), Naraka Chaturdashi, Lakshmi Poojan and also includes Bhau Beej, celebrating the unbreakable bond of sibling love.
• In the North, it marks the joyous return of Lord Rama to Ayodhya and victory over evil spanning.over Choti Diwali,  Badi Diwali and Bhai Dooj.
The traditions may vary, but the message is universal : the light of goodness must always conquer the darkness within and around us. Also we must continue to celebrate the festive with the same innocence, love, and faith our parents taught us for that is the real heritage of Diwali
The lamps we light are symbols of gratitude for the abundance we are blessed  by God. But even as we celebrate and affectionately decorate our homes, we must not forget those whose lives remain dim in the darkness. Each one of us could do something to turn our personal celebration into a truly meaningful one.
The greatest joy will come from lighting another’s life whether by sharing sweets with the poor, gifting a new shirt or clothes to a needy family, or simply offering time and kindness to the lonely, each small act could become a diya that brightens another person’s world. When we extend that warmth beyond our own door, we embody the true spirit of the festival.. So, this Diwali , let the light not just illuminate our own houses but also our hearts. For when we light another’s lamp, our own shines  brighter.

P.S How will you light another person's lamp this Diwali?  Please do share your thoughts in the comments...

R.Vimala,IAS,
Resident Commissioner, Maharashtra 
Compassionate Civil Servant & 
PhD Scholar at IIT Mumbai 

Saturday, 11 October 2025

From Illness to Wellness: My Reflections on Mental Health

From Illness to Wellness: My Reflections on Mental Health 

A couple of days ago on October 10 ,we ‘observed'  World Mental Health Day. 
From the days of the proverb, an apple a day keeps a doctor away, to acknowledging the fact that health isn’t just the absence of disease , it’s a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being we have come a long way. This definition of the World Health Organization that health is "a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity" emphasizes that health is a holistic concept that includes emotional and social aspects, not just the lack of illness. 
The WHO specifies that mental wellness involves realizing one's abilities, coping with stress, working productively and contributing to one's community. However in reality mental health or it's management is still rungs below physical heath.
We are quick to rush to a doctor when we have a fever or an upset stomach, but when our mind feels heavy or we are stressed and depressed we hesitate to seek help. Why should visiting a psychotherapist or counsellor be seen any differently from consulting a physician? A healthy mind leads to a healthy body, and both need care.
There have been times in my own life when I felt low , deeply disappointed and unsure of myself. I still remember the day I didn’t make it to the UPSC. It felt like the end of my dreams. But with time, reflection and support from family and friends, I realized that not clearing an exam doesn't make one a failure. I learned to chose a different career ,take pride in the positions I held in the state government and to serve with joy wherever I am. Life often takes us where we are meant to be, not necessarily where we planned to go.
We all face moments of darkness , self-doubt, loss, or rejection. In such times, positivity becomes a powerful medicine. It’s not easy, but it’s essential. Think of Einstein, who was once expelled from school but was encouraged so much by his mother that he came to be recognised as a genius. Similarly cricketer Dhoni, had to get over many obstacles before reaching his goal. However being famous and successful must not be a yardstick  for measuring happiness. There are many stories which  remind us that life is full of ups and downs.  A glass can always be seen as half full or half empty , the choice to choose satisfaction and being content in any situation is ours.
In India, nearly ten percent of our population experiences mental distress, yet the stigma remains. We openly discuss heart disease or diabetes, but when it comes to depression or anxiety, silence takes over. Those suffering are often labelled as “weak” or “attention seekers,” when all they need is love and understanding. Sometimes, a small, honest conversation is enough to make someone feel loved and supported.
As the saying goes, “अकेले तो हम कहीं नहीं जा सकते — जनाज़े को उठाने को भी चार आदमी लगते हैं।”.  As human beings we  are not meant to walk alone but live together. Asking for help from our loved ones or a professional can never  be sign of weakness but that of being aware because they  are there to offer us support. Encouragement from friends, family, and colleagues does wonders by restoring our confidence when our own strength falters.
Our families,  are definitely our best support system since they offer unconditional love and emotional stability. Proper communication at home helps in building trust and preventing unecessary misunderstandings. Each member’s contribution, however small, adds to the balance and warmth of the household. Instead of searching for perfection in others, we must look at the positive qualities which every individual has. 
At the same time, we must also care for our innermost thoughts by avoiding negativity, being kind, and nurturing empathy. The media often highlights crime and violence, but we can choose to focus on the goodness around us and within us. Joy multiplies when shared, and sorrow halves when expressed.
Your mental health matters just as much as your physical health. If you or someone you love is struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out for help from family, friends or a professional as taking care of your mind is equally important as taking care of your body.
Mental health, ultimately, is not about avoiding pain but about learning to respond to pain and rising after falling. When we replace judgment with compassion and isolation with connection, we begin to heal together. In fact when the ‘I’ becomes ‘We’, ‘illness’ truly transforms into ‘wellness’.

R.Vimala, IAS,
Resident Commissioner,
Maharashtra,
Compassionate Civil Servant &
PhD Scholar at IIT Bombay 

Sunday, 5 October 2025

Saraswati Poojai – A Journey Through Learning and Light

Saraswati Poojai – A Journey Through Learning and Light
Vasant Panchami in northern India is synonymous with Saraswati Pooja, a day devoted to the Goddess of learning, wisdom, and art. In the South, this festival of Saraswati Poojai is celebrated one day before Vijaya Dashami or Dashera and is also known as Ayudha Pooja. In some parts of Maharashtra and Goa, the celebrations even begin from Saptami or Ashtami of Navaratri.
For me, Saraswati Pooja has always been a very personal celebration. I was born on this very day and my parents named me Vimala in gratitude to the Goddess’s blessings. Perhaps that is why I have always felt a natural pull towards learning, towards books, ideas, and the joy of understanding something new. The pursuit of knowledge, I believe, has been my quiet prayer all along.
My mother, a devoted worshipper, loved the song “Annavaahan Devi Saraswati,” while my father’s favourite was “Vellai Tamarai Poovil Irupaal,” the immortal song written by the great Subramania Bharati. These melodies filled our home every Navaratri. After the pooja, we would keep our books before the Goddess, and we were not allowed to touch them until the next day. As a child, I loved that part the most, the sense of devotion mixed with the delight of being told not to study for a day!
This year too, I began my day by placing the image of Saraswati Devi on a small altar, adorning it with flowers, and keeping my books and laptop before her with a silent prayer for completion of my PhD. In every South Indian home, this is a familiar sight books, musical instruments, and work tools placed reverently before the Goddess, seeking her blessings for wisdom.
On Vijaya Dashami or Dashera these are taken back from the prayer place as we sit in front of the Goddess to start learning again.  
Vijaya Dashami also marks Vidyarambham, when little children are formally introduced to learning. Parents gently guide their child’s hand to write alphabets on rice, marking their first step into a lifelong relationship with knowledge, music, art, or language. It’s one of the most endearing traditions of our culture where learning begins with reverence.
As I reflect on our celebrations, I realise how deeply these rituals have shaped me. Growing up, I only knew Saraswati Pooja and knowledge, has always been our focus, thanks to our parents. We started celebrating Lakshmi Pooja years later.
Our son, Vishnu, carries forward the same devotion. I still remember him reciting the sacred shloka at school:
Yaa Kundendu Tushaara Haaradhavalaa,
Yaa Shubhravastraavritha,
Yaa Veenavara Dandamanditakara,
Yaa Shwetha Padmaasana...
This year, even though we were in different cities, me in Delhi, Vishnu at BITS Pilani Goa, and his father in Mumbai, we all began the day with the same prayer: for wisdom, for learning, and for the grace to use knowledge well.
In a world where information is available at the click of a button, I feel it is even more important to pause, to seek true knowledge, knowledge that enlightens, refines, and deepens understanding. Let us encourage our children to inculcate habits of reading at least for ten minutes and writing at least one page everyday. In an age made easy by artifical intelligence and chatgpt this is the least we can do to remain grounded with true knowledge. 
May Goddess Saraswati continue to guide us all removing ignorance, inspiring curiosity, and filling our lives with the light of wisdom and learning.

R.Vimala , IAS,
Resident Commissioner,  Maharashtra
Compassionate Civil Servant & PhD Scholar at IIT Bombay






Friday, 3 October 2025

Maharashtra Sadan , A Home Away from Home in Delhi

Maharashtra Sadan , A Home Away from Home in Delhi
It’s been over thirty years since I first set my eyes on Maharashtra Sadan. As a young officer of the Maharashtra State Civil Services, I had come to Delhi for the Union Public  Service Commission interview. Tiil date I remember that moment vividly since I had felt a sense of awe, curiosity and pride representing my state in the capital. Today, as the Resident Commissioner of Maharashtra in Delhi, I find myself flooded with nostalgia every time I step into this place.
Maharashtra Sadan , is the symbol of Maharashtra’s  identity, culture, and resilience  welcoming Maharashtrians in Delhi with open arms, much like a warm embrace. Delhi being vast maybe overwhelming and appear chaotic at times. But within this bustling metropolis lies a sanctuary that feels steadfast and familiar like a piece from Maharshtra.
What makes Maharashtra Sadan very special is that it’s not just a guest house but a  cultural sanctuary, a home that reflects the pulse of Maharashtra. Unlike other state “bhavans,” it’s called a “Sadan,” which means “home” a word that perfectly captures its spirit. Its architecture symbolises the majestic forts and heritage of Maharashtra, creating an environment that represents dignity, pride and warmth. As I walk through its corridors, I  bow with respect to our great leaders Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj, Mahatma Jyotirao Phule, Dr. B.R. Ambedkar and Rajarshi Shahu Maharaj whose statues add grace to the Sadan, inspiring us with their visions of leadership and reform.
However, Maharashtra Sadan is more than a guest-house or a monument; it is a vibrant living experience. It's welcoming lobby and hundred cozy rooms offer shelter to Maharashtrians far away from home. The authentic Maharashtrian food from it’s canteen make it more welcoming when the aroma of delicious vada pav, spicy misal pav, sweet puran poli, pitla, zunka bhakri, poori and  shrikhand waft through it’s dining halls.  During festivals like Gudi Padwa, Maharashtra Day, Shivaji Jayanti, and Ganesh Utsav, the Sadan is transformed into a celebration of Maharshtra’s rich traditions. This year’s Ganesh Utsav was more  special, with stalls by women’s self-help groups showcasing their handicrafts and delicacies like Ukdiche Modak ( steamed modak ) reminding us of home, culture and tradition. 
The Sadan also serves as a hub of Maharashtra’s vibrant art. It’s shops sell traditional attire and handlooms, Kolhapuri chappals and handicrafts, which bring alive the creativity of our people. But above all this,  the Sadan has been playing a vital role during natural calamities and disasters by providing immediate relief and comfort. Recently the Sadan helped in evacuating hundreds of Maharashtrians by offering them support during times of crises like security threats in Kashmir or Nepal. Hundreds of  aspirants preparing for civil services, get coached by mock interviews after getting through the UPSC Main Examination. 
I can therefore feel the spirit of Maharashtra alive as I walk through it everyday. It’s certainly a place where history, culture, and community converge to create a space that sustains the glory and culture of our people. Whether it’s students, government officials, families, or travellers everyone coming here get a sense of belonging and find a connection with their roots. 
Often I feel awed with what Maharashtra Sadan represents, a living example of Maharashtra’s courage, progress, and collective spirit. It’s more than bricks and mortar; it’s a testament to our state’s enduring legacy. Here, amidst the hustle and bustle of Delhi, we keep Maharashtrian traditions alive and vibrant, celebrating our festivals with joy, sharing our art with the world, and standing united through challenges.
To me, Maharashtra Sadan is not just a building; it’s a home a true reflection of Maharashtra’s heart in the capital city of India. And each time I walk through its gates, I am proud to carry the legacy of my land, knowing that here, our culture, heritage, and spirit continue to thrive.

R.Vimala,  IAS 
Resident Commissioner,  Maharashtra 
Compassionate Civil Servant & 
PhD Scholar at IIT Bombay 

Saturday, 27 September 2025

Navaratri : From Nine Nights to Turning a New Leaf...

Navaratri : From Nine Nights to Turning a New Leaf...

सर्वमङ्गलमाङ्गल्ये शिवे सर्वार्थसाधिके ।
शरण्ये त्र्यम्बके गौरि नारायणी नमोऽस्तु ते ॥
Salutations to Goddess Narayani , the auspicious among the auspicious, the fulfiller of all objectives, the refuge of all, and consort of the three-eyed Lord...
Navaratri is the celebration of the goddesses , of Maa Shakti, the divine energy in all her forms, whether Lakshmi, Durga, Saraswati or Ambe Mata. Beginning with Ghatasthapana and culminating in Vijayadashami, it is a time when the entire country immerses itself in devotion, festivity, and the triumph of good over evil.
Festivals in India each have their own charm, but the splendour, vigour and vitality associated with Navaratri makes it altogether unique. The Durga Puja of Bengal or Garba of Gujarat is famed across the country. As a child, I experienced the grandeur of Durga Puja at the Bengali Association in Bhusawal railway colony. I eagerly awaited not just the puja but also the bhog of begoon bhaja, payesh, and other delicacies.
At home and in Tamilnadu, Navaratri means “Golu” , also known as Bommai Golu , the creative display of idols and dolls on odd-numbered steps, be it three, five, seven or more. Setting up the steps, arranging the idols, and decorating the space was sheer joy for me and my siblings. Visiting neighbours, singing, and sharing sundal (boiled lentils) added to the festive warmth.
After marriage, I continued this tradition with my mother-in-law. Her passing in 2001 left a void, but a few years later I felt drawn to revive Golu. That was twenty-one years ago and it has since become a cherished part of our lives. Navaratri also blessed us with our son, Vishnuchittan, now twenty, whose life has grown alongside two decades of Golu celebrations at home. Each year has been special, filled with camaraderie, joy, and divine grace.
Across India, Navaratri is celebrated with different hues,  Durga Puja in the east, Garba and Dandiya in Gujarat, Golu or Batukhamma in the south, and Ram Lila in the north. The message in all these celebrations remains the same, the victory of light over darkness. So Goddess Durga’s victory over Mahishasura and Lord Rama’s victory over Ravana symbolize the same eternal truth that ultimately darkness gives way  to light.
Navaratri also has a day devoted to  Saraswati Pooja , a day for students to seek blessings of the Goddess of knowledge, and for artisans and workers to worship their instruments in Ayudha Pooja. It is a reminder that wisdom and work when guided by devotion become  purposeful and sacred.
Yet Navaratri is not only about rituals,  it is also about renewal. Each night can be the start of something “new.” Just as Ravana’s effigy is burned on Dashera, we too can burn away anger, grudges, and negativity. We can pledge to give up harmful habits, embrace eco-friendly living and protect our Matrubhumi , our motherland and planet. Planting trees, reducing waste, and nurturing harmony can be our true offerings to the Goddess.
This Navaratri, let us not only celebrate with joy, dance, music and devotion, but also resolve to live with greater purpose  for our families, our communities, and our world.
May this festival bring prosperity, peace, and new beginnings into all our lives.
Happy Navaratri !
ॐ सर्वे भवन्तु सुखिनः सर्वे सन्तु निरामयाः ।
सर्वे भद्राणि पश्यन्तु मा कश्चिद्दुःखभाग्भवेत् ॥
May all be happy, may all be free from illness, may all see only good, may none suffer or be in sorrow.

R.Vimala,  IAS, 
Resident Commissioner,  Maharashtra, 
Compassionate Civil Servant & 
PhD Scholar at IIT Bombay 


Monday, 22 September 2025

Navaratri Reflections: Hope in the Midst of Struggle

Navaratri Reflections: Hope in the Midst of Struggle
This Navaratri feels different for me as  I am in Delhi, posted as Resident Commissioner of Maharashtra.  For the first time, I am celebrating away from home, with a symbolic Bomma Golu. It is not that I couldn’t take leave or travel back. I consciously chose to stay back at Delhi. One reason was to experience the Navaratri festivities in North of India, specially Delhi, the country’s capital. The other is  more personal, about the ongoing struggle around my dream home, which today stands as a reminder of how trust can also leave a lasting wound.
Life has it's way of testing at unexpected times. Reconciling with the fact that one’s dream home has been insensitively compromised is never easy. To admit it honestly it is extremely painful. A home is never just bricks and walls,  it carries years of savings, prayers, and dreams woven into its very foundation. To see it marred by someone’s carelessness and selfishness is disheartening more so when that dream turns into a source of stress and conflict.
 Yet, as I arranged the dolls on the steps of my cute little Golu, I was reminded that Navaratri itself is a festival that teaches us to rise again, to let hope triumph over despair.
At its core, Navaratri is not just about rituals or celebrations, but about rekindling hope. Hope that however difficult the situation maybe, renewal is always possible. Hope that light will end the darkness, hope that justice will prevail and broken dreams will be rebuilt. Hope that new beginnings are waiting because the spirit of this festival whispers to us that despair can easily be overcome. 
It is also a festival of love. The love we place in traditions, in building families and relationships, in nurturing friendships, communities, and in holding on to faith when the ground beneath us feels shaky. Love softens the sharp edges of disappointment and gives us the courage to continue. Together hope , love and faith is what keeps us from being consumed by bitterness.
And above all, Navaratri reminds us of the importance of being trustworthy. Trust maybe  fragile but it the most essential aspect in human relationships. In a world where broken promises and betrayals hurt the deepest, it is our integrity that defines who we are. Trustworthiness is what makes life liveable and makes celebrations meaningful. When it is betrayed, as I have felt in my own housing ordeal, the pain doubles leaving scars, but when nurtured, trust becomes the very  foundation of relationships, communities, and even nations.
As I placed the dolls in my symbolic Golu here in Delhi, I could feel the pain of what has been lost but not without the hope of that it will be restored. My wish this Navaratri is simple that the money invested in our dream home is recovered and that the future holds celebrations free of trauma, in a home which we rebuild on love, respect, trust and care.
Because Navaratri is not just a mythological triumph of goddess over demon it is a reminder of the daily triumphs and trials each one of us must face and accept in our own lives. To choose hope over despair, love over bitterness, and trust over betrayal that, perhaps, is the real celebration. Shubh Navaratri….
R.Vimala,  IAS, 
Resident Commissioner,  Maharashtra 
Compassionate Civil Servant &
 PhD Scholar at IIT Bombay 

To Speak or Not to Speak...

To Speak or Not to Speak... It is said that communication heals . “Talk it out,” is the universal advice advocated as the first step in res...