This Too Shall Pass , A note for Young Minds...

This Too Shall Pass , A note for Young Minds...

Last week, my son called from Goa. There was a slight urgency in his voice,  the kind that makes a parent instinctively pause.

We have always shared a warm friendship alongside our mother–son bond. We speak openly. We laugh easily. We disagree and return to conversation without hesitation. So when he told me about yet another suicide in his college, my heart sank.

Sadly, this was not the first such incident.

The institution has been reaching out. Counselling support, mental health initiatives, faculty interventions, the efforts are visible and definitely sincere. And yet, the question lingers in the quiet spaces :  What is still going wrong?

Perhaps it is not one reason. Perhaps it is a quiet accumulation of many small burdens.

Why are some young minds still feeling so alone?

Is it the absence of deep companionship?

Is technology creating connection without closeness? Is it pressure , academic, social, internal?

Is it confusion about purpose? Or is it simply the exhaustion of trying to be strong all the time?

Perhaps it is not one reason. Perhaps it is a silent accumulation.

Today, students live in a world of constant comparison, very different from what their parents knew. Opportunities are wider  but so are expectations. Exposure is global  but so is comparison. Technology connects but it also amplifies inadequacy. Success is visible. Achievement is glorified. Struggles are hidden. Failures looked down upon. 

A single scroll can make an ordinary day feel like a personal failure. Add to that academic stress as marks become measures of worth, careers uncertain when  placements become identity. Added to this maybe relationship struggles and the silent fear of disappointing loved ones. All this can become overwhelming. 

No doubts, these can be difficult moments, and feel like end of the world. But emotions move and circumstances change.

The Gita reminds us:

“मात्रास्पर्शास्तु कौन्तेय शीतोष्णसुखदुःखदाः

आगमापायिनोऽनित्यास्तांस्तितिक्षस्व भारत”

Pleasure and pain, heat and cold , they come and go. They are temporary. Endure them patiently. (Gita 2.14)

This is not a dismissal of suffering. It is reassurance. What you feel right now can be real but it is not permanent.

A failed exam is not a failed life.

A rejection is not the end of possibility.

A dark phase is not the final chapter.

We often misunderstand courage. We imagine it as silent endurance but true strength is reaching out.

It is saying, “I need help.” It is walking into a counselling room. It is calling a friend at midnight and if one friend is busy reaching out to another.  

And of course communicating with your parents who have moved heaven and earth to ensure you get admitted into a renowned college and receive the best education.  Surely,  our parents who have never hesitated to soil their hands to remove us from any dirt can never be our enemies.

Actually silence without communication leads to  suffocation.

Even Arjuna, the warrior, felt overwhelmed on the battlefield. He did not suppress his confusion,  he expressed it. He asked. He listened. He sought clarity. Every confusion has value. It means you are thinking, searching, engaging. If Arjuna could pause and question, so can we.

Another verse from the Gita offers a quiet reassurance:

“उद्धरेदात्मनाऽत्मानं नात्मानमवसादयेत्”

Lift yourself by yourself; do not let yourself sink. (Gita 6.5)

Courage is not the absence of fear but staying, holding on to one more day. Asking for help. Calling a friend. Walking into a counselling room. Admitting, “I am not okay.” Strength is not silent suffering. Strength is connection.

If you feel alone, please know  your absence would create a silence far heavier than the struggle you are currently facing.

There are people who care. Sometimes they may not express it perfectly. Sometimes they may not understand immediately. But that does not mean they are not willing.

Reach once. If that door does not open, reach again. Try another. Keep knocking.

Your life is not defined by one semester, one decision, one setback.There is more waiting for you than you can currently see.

Perhaps philosophy maybe less useful than small anchors in difficult times. In such moments, a walk by the sea, coffee or a shared meal with a friend, gentle music may provide relief. 

The sunrise arrives regardless of any dark yesterday to brighten your day. 

To the students navigating pressure, confusion, comparison, please remember, your presence matters more than your performance.

Your struggles are chapters, not conclusions.

And when the weight feels unbearable, reach out. Your institution, your friends, your family  someone is willing to listen, even if imperfectly.

Neither your marks nor your setbacks and confusion define you.

You are more than a semester or an exam, more than a comparison chart.

Life will test you just as it tests everyone. But it also surprises, heals and opens doors you cannot yet see.

Please give yourself the time to reach those doors.

And if you are reading this while struggling, pause. Breathe. Call me or someone. Seek support within your institution. Professional help is not weakness; it is wisdom.

The world needs your presence not your perfection.

As a parent, I do not have all the answers. But I have hope. And definitely is enough to carry us through the darkest hours. Above all , the most important reminder is that no storm or dark night is bigger than the sun which will surely rise. 

R.Vimala, IAS, 

Resident Commissioner & Secretary, 

Government of Maharashtra, 

PhD Scholar at IIT Bombay 

vimshine@gmail.com