Chords.....

Chords.....

It was Tamil new year yesterday....Normally our day would begin with wishes from Appa and Amma.....Appa would greet in Tamil but Amma for some unkown reason preferred greeting in English!!! " Happy new year, many many many returns...." and i could almost see her beaming face on the phone followed by her  inimitable sound of laughter.
That was Amma....She loved talking, to her children, family, relatives, friends and acquaintances. She always wanted people around her. Despite staying in a joint family with her husband, the eldest son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren, she was constantly seeking company of her other children who were staying away.
Luckily for me being at Mumbai, I managed to go and see her on most days though only for a short while due to official and family compulsions. She used to be waiting for me to speak about her heart's content and me to be fondled like a child.
She had dedicated 60 years of her life to our well-being, growth and development. She certainly was not as demanding before. In fact our conversations may have been minimalistic and mundane. Looking back at our childhood I realise she was totally non-interfering. Our father too let us be. It requires immense fortitude to trust your child and allow them to blossom. Such freedom and independence was probably based on trust and faith that we would never let them down.
Many of us from that generation may vouch for this. Our parents just let us be. They may have guided us occassionally when we needed them , with a loving push or prod, just enough to put us into momentum. And remember that many parents then had more than three or four children to handle.
In this day and age most parents are so involved in the minutest of details of day to day existence of their child. It is they who decide what the child does or even thinks. With the onset of watsap groups and social media every step of the child is followed. The child is perhaps not given the freedom to think ndependently and of their own. There maybe a few children who are self-dependent but the necesaary evil of social media make those parents also to start depending more on watsap mesaages rather than believing in the words of their child.
I feel fortunate to be a part of that generation which may not have been so advanced or bonded with technology but were moored securely through our personal bondings. I try to carry it forward as much as possible.
Missing Amma on new year was therefore natural. The chords of my heart reached out to her, to listen to those words at least in the mind. Over two months have passed since she left us but her presence pervades the very air I breathe making me feel she is just a call away. She would be back with her resonating sounds.  Special occassions like the new year make me realise that her blessings are an inseparable part of me. She may not be here physically but my heart flows with her love and the umbilical chord binds me with her, forever....