Amma....and my 100th blog....

Amma....

It's Mother's day today and the posts about mothers on Facebook, Watsap and Twitter haven't stopped since morning.
Two days ago when I read an advertisement for purchasing a gift for mother's day my eyes moistened remembering Amma. She loved buying things and getting gifts on every occasion. My siblings and me humoured her and made it a point to shower her with gifts by way of sarees or jewellery.
Life had not been easy for her or for any of us. Married into a middle class family, migrating to Maharashtra-Mumbai from a remote village of Tamil Nadu must have been a great challenge. Yet I had never seen her complaining even once about this or talk about all that she did to endure this peculiar situation.
My father was an officer with the Railways, a man of modest means.
Managing four children in the limited income must have been a task. However, i don't remember her cribbing or grumbling any time.
She was cheerful, welcoming and friendly ensuring that every person who visited our house had that lovely cup of tea she was known to make. Her generosity was inimitable because despite our sparse life she still managed to donate and give away things to the poor and needy.
She was intelligent no doubts for she lost no time in learning the local language, Hindi. I always found her comfortable while speaking which reflected her confidence and mental strength. She was beautiful no doubts but what added to her charm was her simplicity.
Her memory was sharp and her knowledge practical. She could quote verbatim and also sing melodiusly many of the verses from our scriptures. This mirrored her capabilities.
Being a home maker , she was always there to support us emotionally. We may not have had "intellectually stimulating " conversations with her as is expected from mothers now but she was always there in the background standing tall like the Gibraltar rock to provide support to my father during any unforeseen circumstance. So she never hesitated to sell or pawn her limited pieces of jewellery when cash required to send our brother to IIT or for my sister's marriage or for any of our needs.
Her reverance for values like honesty and truthfulness were exemplary. What is more important is the fact that she ensured each one of us imbibed that spirit of honesty and integrity.

Probably what antagonised some people was her no-nonsense straightforwardness. She made no attempts to curb her opinions which at times were sharp and hard hitting. As mother and daughter,  we had our own differences of opinion too but that did not prevent her from caring for me like a child. Her concern for my safety and security in my profession, during my travel were adorable. She would always sound me to be careful and exercise caution. In her words, prevention was better than cure.
The void in my life ever since she passed away has been like an abyss which can never be filled. An inexplicable sense of helplessness engulfs me at times specially when I feel the need to be protected and loved unconditionally.
Some well-wishers say that garnering such feelings causes agony to the departed soul.
One must come to terms with life and move on. Yet it has been difficult for me to fathom out how one moves away from the bond with one's mother.
The umbilical cord isn't just a means to provide oxygen and food to the foetus in the womb. It is much more like a bridge between the past, present and future. A bond that would last till eternity. No wonder I always feel that Amma is around watching, walking with me hand in hand, looking into my eyes , smiling and saying , "Don't worry, me and my blessings will always be there for you...."
Surely her blessings are with me as I pay my tribute to her through my 100th blog today. It was her undying spirit which goaded me to start a blog two weeks after her sad demise chanelising my trauma to creativity.
As if in her death too she had maneuvered me to rationality...

Happy Mother's Day...