Of Women's Day, Celebrations and guilt....

Of Women's Day, Celebrations and guilt......

I was born a girl. The colour of my skin irked my maternal grandmother all the more. Fortunately my parents were different. They never differentiated between me and my siblings. We were two girls and two boys. Times were difficult but our parents ensured we had the best of education and were given equal opportunities in the given circumstances. Neither did they ever object to me being outgoing, straightforward or tomboyish. Each one of us had our own personalities and we flourished with them. We were never restrained or held back. This way of life has remained with me throughout and has enabled me to learn, grow and perform.
I have always tried to excel in all the tasks allotted to me. Being a woman has been enriching though the path has been full of challenges. No doubts, for women the path to progress has always been full of struggles whether she was seeking to get educated or employed. The distinction always existed and still continues to exist in many spheres. In the field of agriculture too till this day and age too women have to face discrimination. While they perform all the back-breaking tasks it is the men who go the markets and pocket the money. What is even worse is violence and disrespect against women which still exists in society.
And above this all is the sense of guilt among working women.
Although we constantly talk about gender equality and feminism where both men and women have multiple differential roles as son or daughter, brother sister, wife or husband, father or mother, but for some reason a woman is constantly expected to be perfect and more perfectly performing all her roles with accurate precision.
In my opinion, it is the woman who in most cases experiences the feeling of guilt or is made to feel guilty in not being able to fulfill all her responsibilities perfectly. Her day starts with being a mom, a wife, a daughter, an employee, a leader; list being endless. In pursuit of trying to do justice to all her roles somewhere she is walking a very thin line where she is constantly judging herself and is also judged about the justice she gives to every role.
An average male probably escapes this sense of guilt which most women are saddled with specially in their homes. It is the women who bear the brunt of feeling guilty of not being emotionally available for her family and loved one in times of need !
What concerns me the most that I am associated with an organisation which is working towards strengthening women through livelihood opportunities where we are empowering women to walk out of their comfort zone and homes to stand tall and make a living for themselves. More than a thousand women stayed away from.their homes at Mumbai for 15 days during the recent Mahalakshmi Saras.
The Wardhinis of MSRLM spend 45 days outside their homes when they go to create self help groups in other villages. I always admire their grit and determination to stay away for such long periods.
My organisation has more than 70 percent women staff who relentlessly work and travel extensively for the welfare of the women self help groups. They must be certainly seeking support from their families to manage their homes while they are away. I am sure they all must be experiencing this sense of guilt to a large extent.
So on this women's day the foremost thought in my mind is that the roles of men and women in society may have changed yet the mindset has not. Till date it is the woman who is essentially held responsible for the welfare and well being of the child and their family.
Isn't it time to acknowledge the fact that she
is just as human as a man and needs to be treated accordingly ?
Isn't it time that she also learns to outgrow this sense of guilt and learns to treat herself with dignity ?
Honestly, our race could have perished had we not learnt to help and support each other.
We cannot exist without mutual help. Women therefore need to be more vocal in seeking help from their families, friends and society to enable them to work optimally. They also need to learn and get over this sense of guilt because they are not the sole sustainors of society. This women's day let us not forget this. As we celebrate women's day, let us acknowledge her being human as much as being woman.....