Relationship : Invisible intruders....

Relationship : Invisible intruders....

Remember the time when you struck a new friendship, fell in love, got married or became partners in sports or elsewhere? Everything was very pleasant, full of hope, each one wanting to give his or her own best. Each vibe was positive with an earnest desire to make the relationship work. Things continued to remain delectable till the day invisible intruders struck.
Honestly, any relationship is a bond , a connection among two people either as a friend,  family member, professional or business partner.  No doubts it springs among individuals but it also extends to larger groups as family, society. communities, nations and countries. 
The basic premise for the emergence of any relationship is the sense of belonging.
Human beings are social in nature and forming relationships is our basic need.This comes through family ties, friendships in school, at the work place, in sporting communities or religious organizations. 
Relationships are reassuring as they comfort us and show that we are not alone. Of course, all relationships depend on give and take between two individuals. They give us strength and make us happy. In fact being in a relationship can be very rewarding emotionally,  mentally, materially and physically.  Our state of mind and our health normally blossoms when our relationships are positive.
Strangely,  at times the very base of our relationship gets corroded due to invisible intruders. These could be words, gestures, actions, thoughts, feelings generating in our own minds or inflicted by others.
A healthy relationship begins with  attractions, similarities or complementary attitudes but with the entry of invisible intruders everything gets thrown out of the window. Insecurity seeps in and what was once certain becomes dubious. Things which were once perfect become blemished. The desire to be connected all the time gets diluted and a relationship which was too good to be true seems flawed suddenly.
One of the biggest challenges in any relationship is to sustain it with ease. Often, we need someone who loves us, makes us feel good, does things which nobody else would do. In short we need someone who keeps on giving while we are happy to be the one who receives.
In reality, a healthy relationship is one in which there is give and take between two individuals. Trust and mutual respect are its foundation but the actions which are questionable lead it to uncertainty.
We also overlook the fact that our relationship is based on our own feelings therefore the opinions of other people should neither matter nor mar those feelings.  Yet our thoughts get coloured by the thoughts and feelings of others. At times, insecurity and jealousies seep in and we become oblivious  to our initial feelings for each other.
Every relationship has it's high and low.  A responsive beautiful, functional, loving relationship can lift our moods and expand our horizons. A dysfunctional relationship can nearly destroy us and our peace. We must therefore be mindful of our behaviour so that there would be fewer broken hearts and souls.
So what are the ingredients of a healthy relationships? 
Clear communication, listening with attention, dropping assumptions, expressing our feelings without blame, respecting other people and their feelings, being truthful,  not letting past hurt influence present connections.
Trusting each other, being reliable and accountable with a  willingness to put in efforts to make the relation thrive. Focusing on each others strengths, as well as being aware of the need for improvement.
Managing a relationship is akin to driving a car or flying an aircraft. We  may feel we have mastered driving or flying yet we  have to mind our tracks lest we bump into others wrongly. We also have to keep track of the distance travelled so that we navigate ahead with precision, learning from our past experiences.
Life after all is not a destination but a journey with different sojourns and each step may bring forth a new situation. So look at the signals and the warnings, listen to what others say and be certain that your life is devoid of invisible intruders. Just keep in mind you are the driver or pilot and nobody else can manoeuvre your journey....